a time in my life

before i entered into the university, i took some GCE and JAMB lessons. Where i grew up in the east, it was an opportunity for young teenage girls to mingle with other girls and boys from other secondary schools. first of all, we went for lessons in casual clothes, no uniforms. we could also wear make-up to these lessons. the most interesting part of it for me was dressing up and coming back in a group of girls. we would chat and laugh our hearts away at any slightest joke. atimes we sang on the way, anything to gather attention from on lookers or passers by. Most times, our classmates who were usually boys would be moving behind us, cracking jokes and acting cool. that made us even louder. we call it seeking for notice. we did that a lot...lol

Those of us that had boyfriends would pair up. on the streets, the boy would stride with pride while the girl would glide silently with glee almost in silence smiling at every little thing the boy said. those of us that didn't have boyfriends were consoling oursleves with gists like 'tommorrow is Emeka's party what are you wearing?' or ' do you know amaka and chinedu have started dating? i saw both of them moving towards the uncompleted building yesterday." we would laugh and laugh and laugh. slowly as each of us got to our homes, we left the group and got into our homes depending on the street or area we were moving towards. it was really fun back then.

i remember L, very vividly as if it were yesterday. she wasn't living in our town but in another town in a different state. she came to attend lessons with us and she was staying with her elder sister. L acted more mature than me and she was older. Her sister lived on my street so we became good friends. we went for lessons together and came back together. slowly we left the group of girls and came back from lessons on our own. it was also during that time i met G. G was a final year student in the university and he always saw me coming back from lessons. he asked around from my classmates and he got my contacts, from there he started asking me out.

G always came to my class and would wait till the lesson was over. he said all sorts of things to me, how he loved me and how he wanted us to become lovers. i found that difficult to agree to. I was a babe. in fact, i attended all parties, danced with boys but i knew my limits. for instance, i never danced with a boy who would prefer to be stroking me. i always avoided that. i never agreed to visit a boy in any enclosed area or his house.

G found what i was doing as queer but he never gave up. he even engaged L to talk me into agreeing to become his lover. he invited me for a drink i refused, he invited me to his house, i refused too but he never gave up.

L will come to lessons and telll me about her boyfriend Frank. She always told me how well Frank made love to her. i was damn too innocent then to understand that there were preferences. She advised me to agree to G. She told me there was no big deal in being his lover that i was big enough to have a boyfriend. i told her G was too old for me. i also told her i wouldn't sleep with him. She laughed at me and told me i was acting like a small girl. She told me that i should take it easy and start with becoming friends as all will work out easily that way.

Aside:
My mum advised me the first day i saw my period that i should be careful with boys. she told me that a boy couldn't offer me anything and she offered that i should always come to her if i had problems. she told me that my private part was a no go area. in fact, it was an instruction she gave me.

I agreed to become G's friend and not a lover yet. He sent me love cards and never really gave me a gift but i gave him a deodorant spray on his birthday. He kept visiting me and he never stopped to tell me how lovely i was.

One day, during one of his visits, G came to my class during break and was looking sad and quiet
YNV- Whats the problem?
G- Nothing is the problem. i am about travelling and i am going to miss you. i am missing you already.
i smiled and i was turning red. i was just 16 then.
we talked of other things. i was begining to get very used to him. infact i was begining to like him but my mother's instructions kept on sounding in my mind
then after what seemed like 5 minutes of silence coz he was starring into my eyes he asked:
G- can we play love?
YNV- what do u mean?
G- i want to make love to you. you are very beautiful
YNV- no, i don't want
G- why not? you are not a small girl. do you want to remain like this till you enter the university?
YNV-yes, let it be
G- my dear, its good to start now. do you want your husband to complain you can't perform?
YNV- perform? how do u mean?
G- practice makes perfect my dear. if you start now, your husband will enjoy you.
YNV- i can't and i won't. inshort...byeee
i left him there and he just starred at me until i entered my class and he left quietly.

as i sat down in the class, i told myself i would never agree to G's demands even if he threw insults at me. my mother had already warned me that it was one of their tricks to get you to think that if you had sex, you were mature.

G saw me again when he returned from his trip. He was rounding up his exams then and he kept asking me for sex and i refused. infact, i stopped contacting him and i started acting funny, that was how we lost touch. my exams came, i took them and came out in flying colours and was admitted to study at the university.

G still calls me till date. He lives outside the country...na wah o