i wish i had a mobile phone

my life continued again after Y's departure but it was never the same. i behaved so much like a child coz i always avoided walking past through any spot we spent time together in. the only place i couldn't avoid was the canteen coz i had to eat. But his office, his Hotel, i stayed very very far away from those places.

my colleagues hinted during one of our discussions that IT staff could take some days off at some point. Hmmmm dat rang a bell and i started making plans of how i was going to visit Ivory Coast and spend time with the man i loved.

Y sent me a few emails telling me how much he loved and missed me. I replied those emails but what i really wanted was to see his face and hear his voice. The voice especially, i really loved the way he spoke.

Time moved very slowly. It crawled actually and one day, i decided i was going to ask for a one week leave. I tried and it was granted. the next day, i ran to my account and changed some cedis and dollars i had to CFA's. After work i went to visit an old man that had a sit out behind my hotel.

YNV- 'How are you sir?'
Old man- 'im fine thank you beautiful lady' he said with a husky tone. His ghanaian accent was most prominent
YNV- 'can i have some ginger plantains?' (i forget the name of that delicacy)
Old man-'sure why not'

i waited patiently for my food. when he brought it, i decided to ask for a plate of perfumed rice and some ginger ale. Mr. Ansa was a very likeable old man. Very neat and cheerful. Talking with him was always an interesting event for me. He brought my food and sat next to me.

Old man- 'You know what child...' he said as he looked very faraway from me
YNV- ' Yes?' i answered and drew my chair closer to listen to him
Old man- 'when i see young people full of life i am very happy. It reminds me of my youth
i smiled and he continued 'but youth also brings back a lot of sad memories'
YNV -'What is it?' i asked
Old man - 'I fell in love when i was 20. But i never fought for her. i allowed her slip through my fingers and i was never able to find love again in such colours...i have not been able to forgive myself.'

He told me the story of Koko. A young beautiful Nigerian girl whose father was a soldier in the Ghanaian army. She lived with her dad and mum. They fell in love and one day his father retired to return to Nigeria and he never saw her again. He felt that if he had fought enough by visitng Nigeria or even looking for her to marry her, he would have been happier. They promised each other that they would love themselves forever. They believed that fate would bring them together again but it never did.

i left his shop pondering about my own love life...

The next day was a saturday. i did some chores while planning in my head how i was going to organise my trip. Mr. Ansa's story inspired me to play my part in loving Y whole heartedly while leaving the rest to fate. Atleast, i said to myself, let me love and even if i lose i know i have tried. I didnt want to wallow in pain when i grow old. i didn't want to regret that i didn't give my relationship with Y some air and sunlight.

The next week was ok at work. I was getting a bit stronger but i was occupied with thoughts of Y and how happy he would be to see me. On friday night, i started to put my things together. My leave was approved for the next week. I still couldn't contact Y. Both of us had no mobile phones. I ran to the cyber cafe and sent him a mail, telling him that on Monday i would take a bus from the terminal at the boarder to abidjan. i asked him to wait for me at the office. I checked my mailbox on sunday night and he hadn't replied. i decided to continue the journey since i had the office address.